Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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