His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
