As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
