So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
