I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
