Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
