She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
