Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
