idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
