he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
