Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
