Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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