some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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