Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
