Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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