i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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