He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
