Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Threesome in a minivan. New low
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
