I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
