is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
