Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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