Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
