I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
