I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
the raccoons are back...
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