Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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