Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
