If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
