It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
