the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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