He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
