Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
