Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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