My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
