i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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