why didn't you poke me back
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
