How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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