is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
