The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
