Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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