SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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