so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
