I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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