Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
