So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
