In the future we'll all be gay
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
