yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
