at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
