and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
