DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
