Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
