I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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