Non-Jews are for practice
you didnt know i had herpes?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
