what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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