I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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