is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
